- Jokes Library - Have Fun & Enjoy Your Time

[Another_One]

every joke posted in English Forum would be here

By Bosson

Married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per


hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at
her and speaks in a clear voice.
Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want
a divorce."
The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases
her speed to 45 mph. the husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try
and talk me out of it,"he says, "because I've been having an affair with
your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and
slowly increases the speed to 55. He pushes his luck. "I want the house,"
he says insistently.
Up to 60 mph.
"I want the car, too," he continues.
65 mph.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the
boat."
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes
him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got
everything I need." she says."Oh, really?" he inquires, "so what have you
got?" Just before they slam
into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles.
"The airbag."
Never underestimate how a woman thinks.





Moral of the story: don't buy a car with only one airbag

[Another_One]

By
Another_One


Tow New Ears
A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good surgeon in Sweden and went to him.
The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said, "Yes, I can put you right."
After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to his hotel.
The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon, and yells, "You swine, you gave me a woman's ears."
"Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference whether it is a man's or a woman's."
"You're wrong, I hear everything, but I don't understand a thing!"

[Another_One]

By
Another_One

Blondie's Pink Curtains!


Blondie enters a store that sell curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assured her that they had a large selection of pink curtains.
He showed her several patterns, but the blond seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains she needed.
The blonde replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?"
The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for her computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But, Miss, computers do not have curtains!"
Blondie says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
:D

[Another_One]

By
Sander

One day an employee sends a letter to her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!


Dear Bo$$ s

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.

I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport

including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Marian $hih

==================================================


The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:

Dear Marian


I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed.

You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure

if the United States may go into aNOther recession.

After the NOvember presidential elections, things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.


Yours truly,
Manager
:biggthump