please, can you help me.......................

:ciao: Hi......... every body:ciao:

This is my first participation here


i need your opinion of this topic


I need you to tell me about my wrongs in it and help me to correct it

I'll be thankful


somthing else, this is my first year in English department in the university

.................................................................................................... ........................


What if my toys could talk :biggthump



I hope one day to see my little toys could talk? I was sat alone that

moment when I got this idea in my mind .I was thinking about many

things but the strange thing Ithought about it that what if my toys

can talking? not even just talking also sleeping and have feelings

and movement just like a human had.I realy want this happen

because when I get bored and there's nothing to do at home I could

talk to my toys and play with them to have fun with them .The

important thing when i be very busy espically in a kitchen works

they could help me to do part of my work to finished early . Also

when I had a problem maybe I can get help of them.And if they had

the solution that is will be better . Ilike this idea and I know it is a

crazy thing but it is impossible to saw my toys even talking







:أفكر: :أفكر: :أفكر: I hope to see your opinion:أفكر: :أفكر: :أفكر: :أفكر:

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة ..sara..

What if my toys could talk :biggthump



I hope one day to see my little toys could talk? I was sat alone that

moment when I got this idea in my mind .I was thinking about many

things but the strange thing Ithought about it that what if my toys

can talking? not even just talking also sleeping and have feelings

and movement just like a human had.I realy want this happen

because when I get bored and there's nothing to do at home I could

talk to my toys and play with them to have fun with them .The

important thing when i be very busy espically in a kitchen works

they could help me to do part of my work to finished early . Also

when I had a problem maybe I can get help of them.And if they had

the solution that is will be better . Ilike this idea and I know it is a

crazy thing but it is impossible to saw my toys even talking

---

Here r ur mistakes underlined
:أفكر: try to correct them
:ciao: c u

Thank u very very very very much

I will try to correct the mistakes

It’s good that you are ready to share your thoughts with others

the idea is good but u need to improve the figure of your subject and correct some written mistakes

Other than that it’s really good to share ur writings in order to improve it

++And don’t ever stop writing

[QUOTE=..sara..]

:ciao: Hi......... every body:ciao:

This is my first participation here


i need your opinion of this topic


I need you to tell me about my wrongs in it and help me to correct it

I'll be thankful


somthing else, this is my first year in English department in the university

.................................................................................................... ........................


What if my toys could talk :biggthump



I hope one day to see my little toys could talk? I was sat alone that

moment when I got this idea in my mind .I was thinking about many

things but the strange thing Ithought about it that what if my toys

can talking? not even just talking also sleeping and have feelings

and movement just like a human had.I realy want this happen

because when I get bored and there's nothing to do at home I could

talk to my toys and play with them to have fun with them .The

important thing when i be very busy espically in a kitchen works

they could help me to do part of my work to finished early . Also

when I had a problem maybe I can get help of them.And if they had

the solution that is will be better . Ilike this idea and I know it is a

crazy thing but it is impossible to saw my toys even talking

:أفكر: :أفكر: :أفكر: I hope to see your opinion:أفكر: :أفكر: :أفكر: :أفكر:

hi sara
im not too strong in english but its a chance to say hi and wish u great success go on

one day I imagined that i can see my little toys talk. I was sitting alone that

moment when I got this idea in my mind .I was thinking about many

things, but the most strange one was about the ability of my toys to talk. Not even just talking also sleeping and have feelings

and movements the same as the human have. really i wanted this to happen

because when I get bored and there's nothing to do at home I could

talk to my toys and play with them to have fun with them .The most

important thing when i am very busy espically in doing kitchen works

they could help me to finish my work early . Also

when I have a problem they can help me. And if they have

the solution that will be better . How I like this idea and I know that it is a

crazy thing but it is impossible to see my toys even talking


أسلوبك كويس بس عايز شوية اهتمام بالجرامر لأن فى غلطات من السهل تفاديها اثناء الكتابة على سبيل المثال لا الحصر اما يكون عندنا To يجى بعدها المصدر مش الPast tense و ياريت تخلى بالك من Q marks و بداية الجملة بالcapital يعنى خلى بالك لأن ده مهم فى امتحان الWriting
انا مبعدلش على حضرتك بس ديه يعنى ممكن تقولى خبرة واحد من العشرة الأوائل فى القسم بس انتى اما تحتاجى اى حاجة اكتبيها و انشاءالله هيكون ليها حل و تصحيح و يارب نسمع عنك خير و تكونى من العشرة الأوائل و تصححى لينا كتابتنا .
صديقك / اشرف 3 الدفعة 3 سنين و فى الليسانس السنة ديه .

Thank you master "Ashraf"=aufa

you are a great person

شكرا لك "aufa"

انا لم اتوقع ان يصحح احد اخطائي توقعت ان يكون كله تنبيه للاخطاء ولكنك كريم ,,,

I realy want to thank you

see you
:ciao:
............................................................................

[QUOTE=ghosnghosn][QUOTE=..sara..]

hi sara

im not too strong in english but its a chance to say hi and wish u great success go on





Hi "ghonsghons"

I appreciated that and we can help each other to



be better in English

thank u againe

I hope to you great success to

"ghonsghons"

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة wa7da_7afla

It’s good that you are ready to share your thoughts with others

the idea is good but u need to improve the figure of your subject and correct some written mistakes

Other than that it’s really good to share ur writings in order to improve it

++And don’t ever stop writing

---

Thank you "wa7da_7afla"

I appreciated that

and I'll try as i can


thank you again