back to him ~

[Foxy.Rabbit]

unlike most of the translation department's professors here
she actually listens abit, just a tiny little bit more than she talks
and she always said that translation is practicing, practicing
! and more practicing

so, I thought I'd use the English forums here as my lil practicing space


back to him..
! simply because he's Nizar Qabbani, ..sans explanations

my translation, then the original




Look me up

- Intro 1 -
look me up, everytime you walk the desert in thurst
.. everytime they shut the doors of hope
I'm not writing the sorrow of a woman
I'm writing a history of women

- Intro 2 -
- Intro 3 -

love, with me, has no ultimate
there was the ocean once,
and then the earth as an exception
at the begining there was you,
and then came all women

- Intro 3 -

every woman I love, is my first
love, with me, has no ultimate

إقرأيني

مدخل 1

إقرئيني.. كلّما فتّشتِ في الصحراء عن قطرة ماءْ
إقرأيني.. كلّما سدّوا على العشّاق أبوابَ الرجاءْ
أنا لا أكتبُ حُزْنَ امرأةٍ واحدةٍ
إنني أكتُبُ تاريخَ النساءْ

مدخل 2

مدخل 3

ليس عندي في الحبّ .. حبٌّ أخيرُ
في البدء كان البحرُ، والبرُّ هو استثناءْ
في البدءِ كنتِ أنتِ.. ثم كانتِ النساءْ
مدخل 3

كلُّ أُنثى أُحِبُّ .. أوّلُ أُنثى..
ليس عندي في الحبّ .. حبٌّ أخيرُ
__________________

Cry

I love seeing you cry
and I love your face dawn and gloomy
Sorrow blend us together
all around
loving those streaming tears
in the cold of November
Some women are simply beautiful
and more beautiful in tears

عندما تبكينَ

إني أُحبكِ عندما تبكينَ

وأحبُّ وجهكِ غائماً وحزينا

الحزن يصهُرنا معاً ويذيبنا

من حيث لا أدري ولا تدرينا

تلك الدموع الهاميات أحبها

وأحب خلف سقوطها تشرينا

بعض النساء وجوههن جميلةٌ

وتصيرُ أجملَ عندما يبكين
__________________

Education

Because I love you
I want you to be
my Alpabets'
number twenty seven

ثقافة

لأننَّي أُحِبُّكِ
أريدُ أن تكُوني
الحرفَ التاسعَ والعشرينْ
من أبْجَديَّتي
__________________



?.. your turn now

[dream catcher]

Kwabara, Kwabara..
"محجــــــــــــوز"

I only write in the day light..


Glad you finally decided to post something
I almost gave up on you
.
.
.
" I'll be back "

[Woeful]

So is it practicing only or we should point out some notes on each other's translation?

[Foxy.Rabbit]

catcher

"take your time"
mista perfection
!!



Woeful

yea, you can point out, suggest, rewrite ..
or do whatever you feel like
: )

[Amanda~]

hi brother nice job i think you've done amazing job
the only note

that when you translate

I love seeing you cry

إني أُحبكِ عندما تبكينَ

dose not make sense
i guess there is a mistake in the English part
but its okay translation are not that easy you will learn from your mistakes

and really nice topic
keep it up

[Foxy.Rabbit]

hi brother nice job i think you've done amazing job

the only note

that when you translate

dose not make sense
i guess there is a mistake in the English part
but its okay translation are not that easy you will learn from your mistakes

and really nice topic
keep it up

hey Blue !
thanks for the sweet compliment

ok.., I got your point
but how would you translate it?

and the last time I checked I was a girl ..so I should be your sister



thanks for dropping by

[dream catcher]

ok...

sorry about the "delay"
I haven't been in the mood for writing lately..
and I'm still not in the mood

but I'm writing anyway..

like always..I've 2 comments

The 1st is using "look me up" for
"اقرأيني"
somehow, it just feels wrong..
I don't have a clue what might be more convenient, but I still think it ain't the
best way to express
"اقرأيني"
you just have to look it up..
I'll do that too, perhaps I could come back with something..

The 2nd is like Blue said..

"I love seeing you cry" and
"اني احبك عندما تبكين"
ain't the same...I think you should translate this one latterly..
that being " I love you when you cry "
.
.
thats all I've for now..
but I'll definitely be back for some more..

so, later..

[مستر حريقة]

Hi Foxy

I somehow agree with dream catcher
But beyond that... Lets start from the beginning

-1-

- Intro 2 -
- Intro 3 -

I didn't get it

-2-

love, with me, has no ultimate
there was the ocean once,
and then the earth as an exception
at the begining there was you,
and then came all women

.. How about
there was the ocean once
and then the earth as an exception
there was you once
then women
Or else .. I don't know but it must be changed

-3-

Sorrow blend us together
all around

الحزن يصهُرنا معاً ويذيبنا
Sorrow fuses and dissolves us together



I'll be back

Good shot sister

[Woeful]

I noticed you had a small typo with thurst, It's an annoying typo since the "U" is next to the "I" that's it for now

[Foxy.Rabbit]

Catcher

sorry about the "delay"
I haven't been in the mood for writing lately..
and I'm still not in the mood

but I'm writing anyway..

like always..I've 2 comments

anytime amigo

The 1st is using "look me up" for
"اقرأيني"
somehow, it just feels wrong..
I don't have a clue what might be more convenient, but I still think it ain't the
best way to express
"اقرأيني"
you just have to look it up..
I'll do that too, perhaps I could come back with something..

,read me
,know me
..,find me
? ..shoot me


I think Nizar meant, or at least that what I understood
that he wanted her to have him there in mind
..wherever, or whenever she was so
that was "almost" the best I could think of

I just can't dig any more deeper
at least for now

"I love seeing you cry" and
"اني احبك عندما تبكين"
ain't the same...I think you should translate this one latterly..
that being " I love you when you cry "
.
.
thats all I've for now..
but I'll definitely be back for some more..

so, later..

yea, I've noticed that
and am just wondering what that "some more" could be about
p:

thanks for droppin' by
! pronto..









mister smoky

- Intro 2 -
- Intro 3 -

hmm ..you know that it's for introdution, it's
!! literally the same as the original, don't ask me ask Nizar

How about

there was the ocean once

and then the earth as an exception
there was you once
then women
Or else .. I don't know but it must be changed

whatever you say smoky, everyone
sees it from a diffrent angle
even if it was a circle

الحزن يصهُرنا معاً ويذيبنا

Sorrow fuses and dissolves us together

smoky !! that sounds as if he's gonna do
?some heavy building, ..no


am not saying mine is better but it doesn't sound right to me
and yeas it migh work, I just don't see it relative

I'll be back

are you sure about that?

Good shot sister

I'll see ya around smoky

[Foxy.Rabbit]

I noticed you had a small typo with thurst, It's an annoying typo since the "U" is next to the "I" that's it for now

umm just wondering..
?who's "you" here

and yea, you're welcome here anytime

[Woeful]

I was saying that the letter "U" is next to the letter "I" in the keyboard. That's all!

[مستر حريقة]

I was saying that the letter "U" is next to the letter "I" in the keyboard. That's all!

How about you just say
"Its " Thirst" not "Thurst

[Woeful]

How about you just say
"Its " Thirst" not "Thurst

Well, yeah.. and by the way it's is not its
they differ

[مستر حريقة]

Okay... grammer girl