Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from
the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?
===========================
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took
a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table
and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before
and I'm sick and tired of it.
==================================
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Hi, is this the Police?
Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call.
Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.
=================================
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller: I was wondering.....does the fire department put snow chains on
their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my
tires
and... well.. do you think the fire department could
come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these &*%$ chains on my car!
=======================================
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven
but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just sai d it was nine-one-one.
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
====================================
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
======================================
And the winner is..........
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing.
I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.
I hope u'll like it
c ya
