المساعد الشخصي الرقمي

مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : End Of My Story



TouGH G
03-07-2005, 02:25 AM
Salam Alykum

I wnana start here :) by a poem i've wrote

so don't be afraid 2 put ur opinion here i don't bite

i hope u like it all :)

I look at you and I feel sick.

I look at you and I regret.

Stop! I can’t look at you.

You feel pride when I look at you.

I thought you‘d understand this look in my eyes.

Or understand these feelings inside.

I have a cause to look at you.

You have wide beautiful eyes.

Capture me deep deep inside.

I just hit around, as I get high.

It’s feels like flying over the sky.

Swimming with birds and clouds

I sought around these beautiful eyes.

It’s tells me a lot about your life.

There’s a misery hide behind these eyes.

It’s fills with mysteries and cries.

Many secrets you hide from people like I

Its stoles the glow from your eyes

But I don’t care and I’m not wondering why.

You just hurt my feelings inside.

By ignoring me all the time

And not give me a chance to say hi.

Thank god a few friends of mine.

Took me from this darkness side

Helped me and brought me to life.

Before I lose my mind

Now I know you’ll never be mine.

Now my wounds will heal.

It looks like I've saved.

From a devil in human shape

Ignoring his favorite game

And closing doors on people face

It’s like a duty faith.

But you know! Forgetting is bliss.

It’s a solution for a problem like this.

Do you think you’ll always be in my mind?

Swimming around in my thoughts

I’ll write everything in my chest.

It’s another way to forget this.

Step by step, I'll put you in the recycle bin.

And put to this story an END.



PEACE

TouGH G
12-07-2005, 12:27 AM
At least some1 give me a sign 2 know if it's good or not :|


PEACE

المكاويه
12-07-2005, 05:38 AM
Hi brother
:osorry that i didnt read ur piece
:196:but i just get bored reading long writings
:biggthumpbut urs is coooooooooool
specially the end
:09:the recycling bin is a cute idea
just u need to pay attention to the rhyme and rhythm
الوزن و القافيه
;)besides taking care of grammar
over all its nice and interesting
:05:welcome here
accept my warm regards

Nnoshah
12-07-2005, 05:26 PM
http://img1.yoxio.com/img/180670.gif
your peom is great realy

it seem from your feeling

i liked it :05:

keep in that brother

and we r waiting your great peoms :D

thanx for this wonderful peom :biggthump

see ya :D

TouGH G
14-07-2005, 09:43 PM
Hi brother





:osorry that i didnt read ur piece
:196:but i just get bored reading long writings
just u need to pay attention to the rhyme and rhythm
;)besides taking care of grammar
over all its nice and interesting
:05:welcome here
accept my warm regards






Oh finally :D
Let me c LONG :11: r u sure? I thought it's short
about "rhyme and rhythm" I will pay attention in the next :)
GRAMMAR hmm.. can u tell me where's my mistakes plz

Thx المكاويه
PEACE

TouGH G
14-07-2005, 09:55 PM
حبيبة هيسوكا

thx 4 ur words :)

and don't worry, anything new i'll put it here

but i hope i c more and more ppl here

thx again

PEACE

NaughtY AngeL
14-07-2005, 10:11 PM
Hey there new guy, you're most welcome here
:biggthump
Nice poem, though it's actually sad
:sad2:
Sorry things didn't work out between you two
Be strong
And keep it up
:D
And as Makaweyya said pay attention on both grammar and rhyme n rhythm next time
:biggthump

:ciao: Ciao for now

TouGH G
14-07-2005, 11:37 PM
NaughtY AngeL (http://www.montada.com/member.php?u=225429)

thx 4 stepping by and ur words :)

i'll do my best on the next

PEACE

المكاويه
19-07-2005, 05:36 AM
Salam Alykum

I wnana start here :) by a poem i've wrote

so don't be afraid 2 put ur opinion here i don't bite

i hope u like it all :)

I look at you and I feel sick.

I look at you and I regret.

Stop! I can’t look at you.

You feel pride when I look at you.

I thought you‘d understand this look in my eyes.

Or understand these feelings inside.

I have a cause to look at you.

You have wide beautiful eyes.

Capture me deep deep inside.

I just hit around, as I get high.

It’s feels like flying over the sky.

Swimming with birds and clouds

I sought around these beautiful eyes.

It’s tells me a lot about your life.

There’s a misery hide behind these eyes.

It’s fills with mysteries and cries.

Many secrets you hide from people like I

Its stoles the glow from your eyes

But I don’t care and I’m not wondering why.

You just hurt my feelings inside.

By ignoring me all the time

And not give me a chance to say hi.

Thank god a few friends of mine.

Took me from this darkness side

Helped me and brought me to life.

Before I lose my mind

Now I know you’ll never be mine.

Now my wounds will heal.

It looks like I've saved.

From a devil in human shape

Ignoring his favorite game

And closing doors on people face

It’s like a duty faith.

But you know! Forgetting is bliss.

It’s a solution for a problem like this.

Do you think you’ll always be in my mind?

Swimming around in my thoughts

I’ll write everything in my chest.

It’s another way to forget this.

Step by step, I'll put you in the recycle bin.

And put to this story an END.



PEACE


:أفكر: Hi again
:o these underlined parts have the mistakes
:أفكر: wish u can figure them out, to correct urself
;) if u couldnt,, just ask
see u later

TouGH G
24-08-2005, 09:05 PM
hmm..

I'll c about it

thx again and if i need help, I'm sure u'll be here :)

PEACE

spider girl
25-08-2005, 04:16 AM
I’ll write everything in my chest

It’s another way to forget this.

Step by step, I'll put you in the recycle bin.

And put to this story an END

oh waaaaw

:bigeyes: :bigeyes:

:D great poem wallah :biggthump ..really i like waaaaaaayed

:05: thank u so much brother

:) ya36eek el 3afya

^^ and am waiting 4 more

:ciao: salaaaaaaam