The Life I killed

Hello.. everyone I hope you`re doing fine.. it`s been a while since I posted a

thread here

well, here you go .. I started writing this two months ago and I just finished editing it.. I hope you like it



In his cold unsympathetic cage, he kept waiting.. shuddering, wondering.. where did it all go wrong?..

He started talking to the bars.. telling it his story:

" Have you ever wondered.. how does it feel to carry that thing we call a heart..?

Of course, you don`t know how it feels, you`re made of steel, how could you ever understand.."

He raised his head, looking towards the moon through the barred hole and continued:

" .. It`s not easy.. to carry such a thing, at first it fills you with joy, happiness, and a sweet deep warmth..

even if you you`re still a young bud, fighting your way in the midst of a howling storm..

you`ll grow very fond of it.. I remember that feeling.. I truly do.."


Then, he released a sigh, while gazing at the sad moon.. and resumed with a cold tone..

" But they took that warmth.. after that, life became so pale.. the joy, the happiness I once knew..

have withered away for ever.. now... I know how you feel.. so cold.. and speechless

..the moon that we all admired for so long, comparing our blossoming virgins to its beauty..

is suffering the same pain.. deep within its beautiful face.. knowing that those legendary rays of beauty

are nothing but a mere reflections from the sun.

I know.. how it tastes..

that bitter taste.. of being used."

He paused for a moment.. and smiled while resuming..

" .. but my story has an ending.. in a few hours.. I`ll taste that sweet deliverance, while you`re sitting

here.. yearning for an end to this eternal pain.

After that monologue.. the night became very old, and a new day was born..

after the holy prayer.. he was urged forward by the executioner into the open ground

where everyone gathered, waiting for the event. after reaching " the spot "..

the executioner ordered him to kneel. When his knees touched the ground,

his body started to shiver, and his heart was beating so fast, clinging desperately to this life..

everyone was staring at him sweating and shaking.. he felt like he was going through a thin haze..

many pictures were blown into the air.. he rememberd everything.


" Now son, can you say.. rabbit?.. "

" .. ra .. ra .. bit .. rabit .. "

" .. My dear child, today you`re going to school and you`ll play there with little boys like you .. "

"..mama..I don`t like school.."

"..aww.. don`t worry my little angel.. when you get used to school you`ll love it.."

"..mama can I play with my friends at the garden..? "

his mom looked at his father with a big smile on her face.. and said :

"..sure..as long as you keep away from the street.."

he went joyfully with his friends, while his mother and father were standing there

thinking.. that their little boy is having the time of his life.

after they finished playing... everyone went back to his home..

" .. Hey there little kid .. you want some candy ? "

" .. can .. candy .. ? "

" .. Sure.. come inside i`ll offer you some.. because you`re a good boy .. "

Innocently.. he went inside.. never knowing that there was no candy..

The boy was thrown in front of his parents` house..

" .. If you tell anyone about this.. you`ll never see your mother again.. "

He kept this as a dark secret of his..

a secret that ruined his view of life.

and one day..

he met the perfect friend.. they were very attached to each other..

it was a beautiful chapter, which ended in a very tragic way..



" .. I swear.. I shall kill you for this.. "


They found him crying near the corpse..

they asked him.. why did you kill him .. ?

and this was his only answer : " he betrayed me " .

but they never knew, what happened..


He kept the reason for himself.. always.. echoing.. through his mind..

"..the thing that destroyed my life, did not destroy his.., but worse than that .. "

" .. he enjoyed it .. "

a warm tear.. escaped.. and the executioner was given the sign ..

" .. Don`t forget the Shahadah my son.. "

"I testify that there is no god but Allah and I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."

The blade rose , reflecting the sun original rays of light..

giving him the pleasant emancipation he was seeking .

:biggthump coooooooooool


really I like it

t n x King

You`re more than welcome " Barbi " and thanx for the post

Hello Mr. Kubaj … how’s life..

I’ve read your masterpiece 5 times so far …
it was like watching a mini movie ..

First I had to give the main character of your story a face …
so Sean Penn was the obvious choice.. for 2 reasons...
one because it’s your current avatar …and two because
I’ve always admired his outstanding performance in Dead Man Walking …
which sprung to mind when I read the first few lines..

Anyways ….lets get to the critique..


I applaud you for your bold choice...
you’ve superbly presented a “socially” taboo topic..
In a subtle, yet effective manner …

What I’ve noticed about your writing style is that it always
takes the reader on an emotionally wrenching journey ….
a few tears were shed …but it was totally worth it..


I was fascinated by his little “chat” with the with the prison bars
and the moon … with his own voice echoing back to him..
Even though everything seemed so bleak and depressing...
it was portrayed with profound beauty …

They say your life flashes before your eyes in the moments
near death…this concept was well-employed in the story,
there were just about enough flashbacks to reveal clues to solve the mystery...
But I wished there were more glimpses of his past …

Impressed once again…

Thank you K.K

I apologize for the long reply :أفكر:

hello everyone
king>>>>>>>>thanks for the subjects
it's really nice and i was going to stop reading it in the middle for having so many things to do
but i couldn't leave it before finishing it

really thanks and allah ya3tik el3afieh

اختكم

Hey Ms.Blueness

I don`t know what should I say about how life is

because as Robert francis said

Life the hound

Equivocal

Comes at a bound

Either to rend me

Or to befriend me.

I cannot tell

The hound's intent

Till he has sprung

At my bare hand

With teeth or tongue.

Meanwhile I stand

And wait the event.


So .. I guess i`m just waiting for the upcoming event

and hey.. don`t apologize for you`re fairly enjoyable reply

Thanks for passing by, now have a nice day


Hi, for islam

you`re welcome sis, and thanks for you`re nice reply

may Allah bless your soul

nice story man
great word choice
...there is nothing really to criticize you for
I liked the flow of the story it’s really smooth you moved from a thought to another without any problem
:Dthe flashbacks are cool; the images you presented are beautiful it’s like watching a movie.. hey .. you’d make a good director
the only thing that I can think of to improve the story is to make it a little bit more detailed because it’s kind of ambiguous about the reason why he killed his friend
Keep it up man

Lucifer, man.. why isn`t your reply showing on the page

you cunning devil :31:

thanx 7abibi for the lovely reply

Em...I got a heavy heart when I finished reading .

Life is a struggle
life just likes shelling the onion,
there is awalys a slice cause ur tears.

ThQ for this wonderful story which make people think deeply
about the life.

You're welcome Baheya.. glad u read it

this a great work

thanx king_kubaj

You're welcome brother.. I'm honoured to have you here

ما شاء الله;)

اقتباس:

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He raised his head, looking towards the moon through the barred hole

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What I can say...??!

I think ...I can see that scene
it's close of my eyes now:أفكر:

اقتباس:

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" Now son, can you say.. rabbit?.. "

" .. ra .. ra .. bit .. rabit .. "

" .. My dear child, today you`re going to school and you`ll play there with little boys like you .. "

"..mama..I don`t like school.."

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;) I like this

touching piece:أفكر: it's









Really it's good & deep story;)

I like it and like U'r style...

U carry us too far by this great style & smart choice 2 words...........

I think U make a good point to move our feelings & our thoughts

Slowly to what U wanna say:أفكر:

Really Thanx to U

For this enjoyable story

اقتباس:

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اقتباس:

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The blade rose , reflecting the sun original rays of light..

giving him the pleasant emancipation he was seeking .

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I can imagine that....... :أفكر:

:) god bless U

:biggthump SalamOoOoOo

Everytime I try to reply to you chipsa the page collapses without a proper reason

error report


anyway..

thank you for your generous words

and sorry for my short reply.. I don't have enough time right now

later

[QUOTE=king_kubaj]

اقتباس:

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Everytime I try to reply to you chipsa the page collapses without a proper reason
error report

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that prOblem happen 2 all

may b the reason N my signature:33:

اقتباس:

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anyway..

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اقتباس:

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thank you for your generous words

and sorry for my short reply.. I don't have enough time right now

later

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not prOb my brOther

& gOd bless U

SalamOoOo^^