hi fox mox,
here are my corrections to your essay. i put the words i think you should add within these symbols [ ].
i underlined the words that i think you should delete.
i didn't change your content very much. if you make any changes that you want me to correct, let me know. hope this helps you.
Being in a Group
Talking is one of the most significant activities that people have ever used [ever use] in their lives. Almost all people who discuss an idea with their friends and relatives about a certain type of problem do not have the right solution to tackle [it] with. They need some advice for [to find] the solution. One of the ways constitutes [is constituted by forming] a group. People make these groups not only by talking [to talk] about an idea, but also by working [to work] with it in terms of enacting the solution to the problem. To illustrate this point, students who are working together in a group, in a mechanical engineering class, need to figure out some basic information before solving an experiment could look at what the experiment should look like and what tools should be used. These students need to be in a group because the experiment could be difficult to deal with in order to solve the problem. Therefore, knowing people’s identities, feeling good when being in a group rather than being alone, and learning more information about a particular topic in a group are important parts of some [these] people’s lives. Everyone in life should have an identity that can be defined with such [things] as a passport, a car, and other assets. Nevertheless, there are a few children who have exceptions. For example, Victor of Aveyron, a child found in the forest near Saint- Sernin – Sur – Rance, France in 1797 had lived his entire life there (“Victor of Aveyron”). Today, there are few children who do not have an official document of identity because of the lack of money (Absal). Moreover, to know about other people’s identities, people have to ask a few questions such as where the person is from, what the person [person’s] religion is[,] and how the weather looks (this part doesn’t really make sense) [what the climate and geography of his/her home is, etc..] People need to ask these questions for understanding other people’s personalities. In the following article, “Getting to know you?” Susan Welch and Lee Sigelman explain that “we view the development of primary relationships between members of the group and members of the larger society as a key phase in the overall process of assimilation.” (Welch and Sigelman). For instance, teenagers who live in a hot climate like the Middle East like to join new people in a group by playing soccer. These teenagers will be divided into two teams. The two teams will play the match, and then they may know [get to know] some people – [such as] whether the players are selfish people in passing the ball or not. In addition, almost all members of the two teams will invite the new players for a free lunch to know [get to know (or learn)] more about them. Thus, from this example, people will know about others. Being alone may be good for some people as some authors [have] said, [since] they will have to work almost [most of the time] their precious time by themselves, [but]“there is ample evidence that group identity still plays an important role in the way in which individual employees are treated in the workplace[,]” However, being taken care of [and being assisted] by other members of a group in doing some parts of a project could be useful. (The Pressure) but not for all because?? On the other hand, being a member of a group makes [may make] people feel special [nervous or under pressure] when they talk. They become emotional with others and they will try to argue with others by giving evidence that support [supports] their ideas. For example, some people who join a fitness club will become [be] shy at first because they are afraid to speak, but then [they] will be open [up and speak with] with other members [after listening for a while] to discuss by listening and being applaud after their good debate[encouraged in their attempts to join the debate]. Learning is not like the math [always a science like arithmetic] which indicates two plus two equals four. Nonetheless,[;] it takes [can take a long] time to learn new skills or a new language like English. Students usually think of learning a subject as coming to school, taking classes, and doing assignments and a couple of exams. Regardless[However], learning a subject should not only be [done] in school, but should also become in social life [be done in everyday life and social situations,] especially when being in a group. Another example, [As an example,] some social groups try to help people avoid HIV risk behavior explaining about sex and AIDS. According to the article, “Social group leaders can help others to avoid HIV” Jared Rosenberg observes that “half of the leaders [sic] were randomly selected to take part in small group training sessions on how to counsel and advise others on reducing HIV risk behaviors.” (Rosenberg). For example, [As another example,] a group of elderly people who enter Mason clubs need to increase their knowledge to learn a great deal of information inside the clubs such as secret signs to communicate with each other. Overall, being identified by other people is a normal habit of introducing each other, and obviously children should have official documents of identities. Becoming members [When becoming a member] of a group, people change their feelings [adopt a respectful attitude] towards their listeners because if not, there will be an argument every time there is a discussion. Learning new information from other members [of groups] has a great impact in order to help [helping] the next generation.
عضو جديد
Please help me guys
