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  • النتائج 1 إلى 4 من 4

    الموضوع: Misfortune[SSCP]

    1. #1
      التسجيل
      11-08-2005
      المشاركات
      589
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      32
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      Post Misfortune[SSCP]

      Hello everyone
      ^^


      Misfortune

      Edward was a young man in his twenties. He lived with his family in a modeste, small but beautiful house in a calm neighbourhood situated in the outskirts of the city. He had three sisters, he was the only and older son in the family, his father passed away
      six years ago, so his mother took the responsability to educate them. She sometimes had to work for some rich families so as to provide her kids a respectable life. or despite their mother's efforts, Edward was pushed to stop his studies because of their poverty.

      As a matter of fact. In addition to his love for life and work, Edward was a very kind, smart and faithful person. He did never feel tired looking for a job, he sent his CV to many companies, firms and newspapers but in vain; he wasn't lucky enough to find a job. Nevetheless, he didn't feel discouraged and did never loose hope. Thus he decided to start with a small project: selling souvenirs to the tourists in a shop next to his house. He borrowed an amount of money from the bank and started his new work. After a year of hard work he earned a satisfying amount of money that hes used to keep in a safe box inside his shop. One day he woke up in the morning to a shocking news: Someone broke into the store and stool the money and merchandise. The incident was unbearable and Edward passed out straightaway. Some of the neighbours called an ambulance and after three days in the hospital, Edward finally woke up.

      Indeed, that sad event did completely change Edward. He lost hope and his love for life, his dreams melt and vanished in one day. His relation with his mother, sisters and neighbours changed radically, he became agressive. Moreover, he started spending time with a group of nasty people, These ones filled his head with many evil ideas, one of these ideas was to rob a bank. This group of gangsters including Edward started planning for the operation and after two months everyting was ready.

      The fateful time has arrived, Edward preparedhimself to go.
      -Where are you going this early my son?asked the mother
      -Why are you asking? I've just found a job, that's all, answered Edward.
      -But why are you taking your bag with you?
      -For no purpose, he answered coldly.
      -How....?
      Edward interupting his mother and going straight ahead to the door
      -If I don't come back today, don't worry, just waitfor my call...

      He shut the door, A car was waiting for him in front of the house. When they arrive to the bank they threatened employees and customers. Edward's duty was to make sure no one is coming from outside the bank. Suddenly, the police arrived and all the band memberd getting frightened took a hostage and started shooting everywhere using their guns. One of the bullets changed its direction because of hitting a strong surface and touched Edward. The place remained silent for a moment. Edward fil! The police took everything in control, saved the hostage, arrested the gangsters and called an ambulance for Edward.

      In the hospital, the mother was waiting in front of the operations room, when the doctor came out, he told her to enter to see her unique son; Edward was Dying.
      -I'm sorry mum, I disappointed yo.said Edward crying.
      -Don't talk my child, it was not your mistake...
      - No, it's all my fault. I choosed to go the wrong way by myself. Now who's going to take care of you and my sisters. I'm sorry mum, I'm so so sorry, ...I....
      -If only the police has arrived earlier, I thought that I could save you by calling them.
      -It was you mum who....
      These were the last wordsthat Edward prounouced, his mother and sisters left their town and left behind them all their sad memories.


      All rights reserved to Katsumi san
      Montada ©2009
      short stories competition

      ^^
      سبحان الله وبحمده .. سبحان الله العظيم

    2. #2
      التسجيل
      14-07-2005
      الدولة
      في جانب النجوم
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      1,252
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      رد: Misfortune[SSCP]

      .. nice

      this really qualifies as a short story

      I liked it, really did
      but as this is a dramatic story, events did not have that great impact on me emotion wise
      probably because of the vocabulary, specially the downfall of edward
      I did not get the sense that his actions were out of despair as much as it was a decision he made based on what he concluded from his previous incident which is: good guys end up first

      I enjoyed reading this, katsumi san
      hope it won't be the last

    3. #3
      التسجيل
      01-08-2009
      الدولة
      behind U ! :O
      المشاركات
      48
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      5
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      رد: Misfortune[SSCP]

      hey kitty kat
      sweet story and plot
      so in the end the mother that was trying 2 protect her son ended up killing him
      LET THAT BE A LESSON 2 ALL U CONTROL FREAK PARENTS :P
      hehe thx 4 the post
      t.c
      Your sun will never rise again

      The fading innocence, the dying beauty
      A word of light darkens this peaceful night.
      I'm falling - my soul is starving.
      So beautiful, this silent call -
      With eyes of mist and snow -
      This tear of our persistent cry.

    4. #4
      التسجيل
      11-08-2005
      المشاركات
      589
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      رد: Misfortune[SSCP]

      Thanks a lot dream catcher & Erroneous
      for your comments

      Good luck

      ^^
      سبحان الله وبحمده .. سبحان الله العظيم

    المواضيع المتشابهه

    1. sacred tears, rest my love [sscp] :D
      بواسطة : Erroneous , في اللغة الإنجليزية English Language
      مشاركات: 4
      آخر مشاركة: 19-08-2009, 10:51 PM
    2. Followed by Shadows [SSCP]
      بواسطة : KilluaPica , في اللغة الإنجليزية English Language
      مشاركات: 3
      آخر مشاركة: 06-08-2009, 11:33 AM

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